Today's edition brings us the sad rise and fall of Hair Bear. After years of success as a freedom-loving, zookeeper-escaping ne'er-do-well and rocketing to worldwide fame as the Leader of the Hair Bear Bunch, he sadly turned his back on Bubi Bear and Square Bear, in order to pursue his love of music and starlets.
A lifetime of critical accliam and industry accolades later, the inventor of the so-called "Wall of Hair" musical technique, Mr. Bear finds himself embroiled in a murder mystery plot. The former cartoon and recording industry star murdered actress Lana Clarkson at his palatial Alhambra estate in 2003. Authorities allege that this murder is part of a pattern of violent, anti-social behavior:
LOS ANGELES - Prosecutors can introduce evidence in Phil Spector's murder trial to try to show the famed music producer had a history of threatening women before he was charged with killing a B-movie actress in his home two years ago.
In issuing his ruling Monday, Superior Court Judge Larry P. Fidler acknowledged that allowing the evidence was "a dangerous path to go down," but concluded the incidents seemed to illustrate the state's theory.
Deputy District Attorney Doug Sortino had argued before the ruling that Spector used guns to threaten or intimidate people in "an ongoing course of conduct that happens again and again and again."
Outside the courthouse, Spector insisted he "never pulled a gun on these women."
Yet it's becoming increasingly clear that Mr. Bear has been been gripped with by an all-consuming and over-powering misogynist rage that has plagued the celebrity for years. "Ever since his salad days at Cave Block 9 of the Wonderland Zoo," an ursa major close to the case commented," Hair has taken out his frustrations at not being taken seriously by humans on his objects of lust -- their women. It's really sad, humans and bears just don't mix."